Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Safe (November 6, 2013)

(For AJ)
(Photo courtesy of R. Sieland)

Sometimes the past is too heavy. It’s hard on the mind and the memory.
Part of me is like a child- I want to play that game of “let’s remember”.
Where you can be the one that I look to-and I will be that same girl…
As we go back to resurrect…for that moment somehow in the now.
I try to proceed with caution…it’s an uncomfortable needing ache
When I know the time will come to expose where life has worn on us all.
You can see my symptoms of insecurity and shame.
I can see your shrewd bitterness and self-blame.
There is no more of how it used to be.
For it’s paradox we took the chance-
To go back and encompass what I thought was so important to feel
Then I woke up to only musings and wants…ghostly voices and old haunts.
I know that it is the idea I seek…
The pictures in the mind-
are all that is left behind.
But this time there is a new memory burned into the ends.
It justifies the means
As it seems, I am no more the way you saw…
But may we.…always be
 -just the way we wanted to seem in those memories.