|(Photo courtesy of R. Sieland)|
Sometimes the past is too heavy. It’s hard on the mind and the memory.
Part of me is like a child- I want to play that game of “let’s remember”.
Where you can be the one that I look to-and I will be that same girl…
As we go back to resurrect…for that moment somehow in the now.
I try to proceed with caution…it’s an uncomfortable needing ache
When I know the time will come to expose where life has worn on us all.
You can see my symptoms of insecurity and shame.
I can see your shrewd bitterness and self-blame.
There is no more of how it used to be.
For it’s paradox we took the chance-
To go back and encompass what I thought was so important to feel
Then I woke up to only musings and wants…ghostly voices and old haunts.
I know that it is the idea I seek…
The pictures in the mind-
are all that is left behind.
But this time there is a new memory burned into the ends.
It justifies the means
As it seems, I am no more the way you saw…
But may we.…always be
-just the way we wanted to seem in those memories.